Amazing, Wonderful and Difficult

Sophie has had a trying couple of weeks. Therefore I have had a trying couple of weeks. She is a fun, sweet baby, but I was ready to sell her to the gypsies this week.

First let me tell you a story: The other day I was sitting at my desk, Sophie had been content for a few rare moments so I was attempting to get something, anything, done to validate my need for achievement. Then I heard, step, grunt, thump, step, grunt, thump, step, thump, grunt. I thought I better investigate. I peeked around the corner and saw Sophie going up the stairs with her diaper bag, she would step up, pull the diaper bag up to the step in front of her and then follow behind the bag to the next step and then repeat. (Did I mention that she is 14 months old, and very, very determined?)

As amused as I was, I could not prevent my nurturing self to allow her to struggle, so I walked up behind her and asked her if she wanted some help. It was then that I smelled the trouble...I now understood her determined act to get the diaper bag up the stairs and find her mother. She accepted my help by handing me the bag, she then finished going up the stairs, ran down the hall at her fastest toddlers pace, and went into my bedroom. I followed behind, and when I reached my room she was lying on the floor where I always change her, waiting for me to clean her up! That is the amazing part. She is always amazing me with how much she understands and how she can communicate what she wants so clearly without words and never, relent.

The wonderful part is every time she is not practicing her difficult act. She has a million dollar smile, a Miss America wave and the body language of a 15 month old, put that all together and you get an act that is almost impossible to say no to and too cute to try and describe. But I will try. Imagine this: Relief Society the Sunday before Christmas, many gift bags, goodies and packages lining the seats going down the isle.

Sophie-sweet Sophie with the million dollar smile and the Miss America wave headed down the isle, pausing at each seat, looking up at the seats occupant, flashing the "smile", throwing out a wave and then squatting down next to the beautifully packaged bag, hands on her knees, waiting for the "auntie" to share some of that Christmas joy they are displaying next to their seats. She made out pretty good, until I decided it was time to quietly exit the room and leave the lesson and the ladies to continue in undisturbed peace.

This is where the difficult starts: Imagine the relatively small head of an infant being thrown forcefully back, the same head that I spent months protecting from siblings, dogs, friends...etc, is now being used as desperate leverage to escape from my arms. That was accompanied by the SCREAM, yes you know the one, not every child can do it, it is the one that hurts your ears, heart, toes and pancreas. Yes, my child, my 4th child can do the scream. It continued, along with the head throwing until we passed the Primary Presidents stroller that contained a container of red vines.

Now the screaming stopped, the reach started, (how does my 14 month old know that red vines are yummy?) the sweet little girl came back. But, no I would not give in that easily! I kept walking, the prior scenario resumed and we made it in to the chapel for closing exercises, I quickly put Sophie in the nursing position, got her latched on and breathed a sigh of relief. Ember said the closing prayer of primary and I got to be there. The moral, thank goodness for boobs and the amazing, wonderful and difficult babies that love them.